Friends

It has been some time now that I have posted a new message.  I hope this one will be beneficial to you in a way that will not only encourage you, but speak directly to your heart.  I have prayed for the right message to share for quite awhile now and I believe through a course of events, relationship observations and even my own experiences God has shown me what He wants me to share.  I draw from the Word of God on the subject of "Friends."  Take a few moments and see if this pertains to you or maybe someone you may know who is struggling with this very subject.

The very first question that comes to mind is "what is a friend?"  To answer that question we need to look at the definition from a couple of sources.  From the dictionary it states that "a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations."  Well, that seems pretty normal, we have a mutual affection for each other.  In other words we get along with each other and accept each other even when we disagree about something.  These to me are the kind of friends that come and go, as life moves along so does the friendship, it either fades away and new friends are made to take the place of those who are no longer in our lives.  Or, you find that your interest over the years have just grown apart and the friendship becomes more of a memory that you can reflect back on.  This type of friendship is the most common of all and we all have at least one, two or even many of these.  So is there another kind of friend that exists and what role do we play in each others lives?  Lets look at a more spiritual aspect of a friend. For this we need to consult a definition from a well known source, a book that is more popular than any other book, the Holy Bible.

So just how do the scriptures define a friend?  For this we will look specifically at the creator of the gospels, Jesus Christ.  He had a few things that define friends that go far beyond the typical definition.  We'll begin in the gospel of John.  In John 15:14  we see that to be a friend of Christ you must obey His commands.  But why did Christ say it this way?  When we look at the verse in context we find Jesus referring to Himself as a vine and we (those who believe) as branches.  The word friend used in verse 14 comes from the Greek word philos; a friend; someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intmate way; a trusted confidant, held dear in a close bond of personal affection.  (Note:  The root (phil-) conveys experiential, personal affection - including experienced-based love.)  So this kind of love is deeper than the normal everyday friendship, this friendship requires a bonding as if grafted into someones life.  You are going to accept this person as one of you if they come along side you and support you, agree with you and you with them.  This is a friendship that will last and not fade away as life moves along its path.  Now, here's a catch to this type of friendship, you or they must have some kind of experience together in order for this friendship to work.  It is not that everyday, "hi how are you" kind of friendship.  This friendship means you have gone through some experiences together, whether good or bad, and still remain close.

In John 15:13 you have Christ giving us even a deeper meaning of this type of love, it's more than just experiencing things together, even more than just sticking together through thick and thin.  Here we see a slight variation of the word Philos.  We see the Greek word Philon, this word actually says that a true friend is one that will lay down his life for their friends.  Friends are people who we come along side of and communicate, walk with, share with, cry and laugh with.  True friends are all those, but go a giant step further, true friends will actually sacrifice everything they have for you no matter your situation, they will even give up their life for you.  Friends are an important part of our lives, without them we are empty and void of relationships, even the shallow kind.  Everybody longs for friendship of one kind or another.  We all long for that one friend that will never leave us, will always be there for us.  It's a little sad when all we can find as a friend are those who come into our lives for a season then are gone.  These friends are those I believe that come into our lives for a purpose and once that purpose is fulfilled they move on to the next person.  We of course do the same, we meet someone, make friends, hang out for awhile, talk, share, and then for some reason we or they are out of each others life. This is not a bad thing, but it doesn't fulfill that longing in our heart for a friend that sticks like glue and never loses touch with you.

So what's the reason for this message?  The reason is that I want people to know that friendship is something that every person needs in their life, whether it be one or many.  We all need a friend. When we know someone is alone and maybe struggling, it should be our desire to come along side and become that persons friend, even if it is just for a season.  When you are alone, what is it that you crave more than anything?  Yes, admit it, you desire friendship and someone to talk to, someone to share your feelings of happiness or sadness, an ear to listen to your concerns.  Friendship is extremely important to the human race.  

I have seen the difference of friendship in a couple of my grandchildren lately.  One who is 14 years old and quite a social oriented person. Friendship to her is important.  She feels lost without being around friends.  She will go out of her way to make friends and do things for them.  She has also felt the sting of supposed friends that caused her a lot of emotional pain, and finding out just who her true friends are.  The other grandchild is not so much a social person, he is almost 13, and has maybe three or so good friends that he enjoys being around.  He has had ups and downs with them but remains as a friend.  The differences of these two show that no matter how many friends that one may have, friends are important to each of us.

I have also seen people that appear to be alone, dining by themselves, sitting on a park bench lost in their thoughts or past memories.  There those that are in a crowd of people who are alone aching for just one friendly smile.  The most hurtful and sad cases that I have observed are those in a church trying to be friendly, yet set alone in the auditorium, go to service alone, shake hands with many people smiling and wishing people well but goes home alone with no invites to a home or just a friendly lunch together. You see the loneliness in their eyes and forced smiles.  It does not speak well of a congregation of people with the love of Christ in their hearts and that love is not extended out to those who long for just a small gesture of friendliness.  NOW, let me say this, not all churches are the same, and not all churches fit what I just described, yet it exists and it shouldn't.

In John 15 Christ talks about being grafted in to Him like a branch is grafted into a vine.  Once grafted in we become part of the vine.  The vine does not become the branch, but the branch becomes part of the vine.  As we study God's word and follow His commands we become part of His family that is grafted into His kingdom or vine.  Christ shows us that we are more valuable than any part of the created universe when He gave His life for us on the cross of Calvary, shedding His blood for us so that we could be forgiven once and for all.  He shed His grace on us by taking the penalty of death upon Himself for us.  He rose again on the third day so that we would have the same resurrection hope of living eternally with Him.  

Yes, friends are most important, but there is a friend that "sticks closer than a brother" as Proverbs 18:24b says.  If you are lacking in earthly friends, and just can't seem to find that special friend, then turn to Christ, He is that friend that not only laid His life down for you, He would do it again if it was necessary.  Thank God, He only had to do it once.  He understands your pain, He understands your aloneness, He understands abandonment, and He understands you.  Give Him a chance in your life, as John 3:16 tells us, He loved us more than anything else.  You do not have to walk the path you are on alone, Christ will walk with you no matter how high, how steep, how low or how flat your path is, He will not leave you or abandon you as orphans, John 14:18.  God loves you so much that "He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16.

Are you lacking in friends, draw close to God and He will draw close to you, He will provide you with friends that are true and will be there for you. Know this, He has provided Himself as a true friend and He will dwell with you in your heart, and He will walk with you no matter where your path leads you.

I cherish your comments and/or your reactions, feel free to leave either or both.